relationships – Page 2 – Just the Tarot

The Top Ten Tarot Cards Indicating Conflict

A quick, insightful guide to the ten Tarot cards that most often signal conflict—from chaotic energy and power struggles to hidden tension and emotional fallout. This post explains what each card means and how to navigate challenging situations with clarity and confidence.

There are days when Tarot feels like a warm hug…

…and days when it slides a little warning across the table and whispers,

“Brace yourself.”

Conflict is part of life, part of growth, and definitely part of the Tarot.

“Just the Tarot,” by Dan Adair – Available on Amazon

Whether it’s inner tension, relationship friction, or someone else’s chaos spilling into your lane, some cards show up to say:

“Something here needs attention.”

Here are the top ten Tarot cards that most strongly signal conflict — and what each one really means beneath the surface. If you’d like to download this list as a PDF file that you can add to your Tarot notebook, click here.

1. Five of Wands – The Classic Chaos Card

If conflict had a mascot, this would be it.

The Five of Wands shows:

– competition

– ego clashes

– mixed agendas

– flailing energy everywhere

It’s not necessarily destructive — but it is noisy.

Message: This isn’t war… it’s everyone talking at once. Calm the room.

2. Five of Swords – A Battle Nobody Really Wins

This is the energy of:

– arguing to be right

– unhealthy victories

– someone taking more than their share

– hurt feelings afterward

Message: Winning at all costs comes with a bill. Choose integrity.

3. Seven of Wands – Defend Your Ground

This is conflict from the outside:

– critics

– competition

– pressure

– feeling outnumbered

But the card says you can stand firm.

Message: Don’t fold. You’re stronger than the opposition.

4. The Tower – Major Disruption

This isn’t a small disagreement — it’s a smackdown from the universe.

Think:

– sudden revelations

– arguments that break things open

– emotional earthquakes

Message: The old structure needed to fall. Liberation follows.

5. The Five of Cups – Emotional Fallout

Not a conflict card on its face, but it often shows up after one:

– regret

– grief

– disappointment

– unresolved conversations

Message: You’re grieving what was lost. Healing begins when you turn around.

6. The Devil – Power Struggles

This card signals:

– manipulation

– obsession

– toxic dynamics

– control games

– addictive patterns in relationships

Message: This conflict has a hook. Break the chain, not each other.

7. The Knight of Swords – Rushing Into Battle

He is smart, fast, determined…

…and doesn’t always think things through.

Shows:

– heated arguments

– impulsive reactions

– someone charging ahead without listening

Message: Slow down before your mouth outruns your wisdom.

8. The Two of Swords – Silent Conflict

Not all conflict is loud.

This card is conflict frozen:

– denial

– avoidance

– stalemates

– tension beneath the surface

Message: Peace requires a decision. Open your eyes and choose.

9. The Seven of Swords – Sneaky Energy

Not direct conflict — but conflict waiting to happen.

Signals:

– deception

– half-truths

– secret plans

– someone acting behind the scenes

Message: If something feels “off,” it probably is. Trust your intuition.

10. The Ten of Wands – Overwhelm and Burnout

This appears when conflict comes from:

– taking on too much

– carrying other people’s problems

– no boundaries

– pressure that builds until you snap

Message: Put down what isn’t yours. You’re not meant to carry it all.

Final Thoughts: Conflict Isn’t Always the Enemy

Conflict in Tarot isn’t punishment — it’s information.

The cards don’t show conflict to scare you…

They show it to help you:

– redirect

– set boundaries

– speak truth

– release what’s toxic

Because once conflict is acknowledged, transformation can finally begin.

Surviving the Season: A Light-Hearted Guide to Beating SAD Without Losing Your Mind

This post explores the realities of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) with a humorous twist — why the winter blues hit so hard, how light deprivation messes with our brains, and what actually helps. From sunrise-mimicking light boxes to Vitamin D3 and CBT-SAD reframing techniques, this guide offers practical, affordable ways to lift your mood when the days get dark. Includes a free downloadable PDF of 15 winter affirmations to help rewire your thoughts and make the season feel gentler, brighter, and a whole lot more manageable.

Are you still suffering from the cosmic hangover known as the time change?

Maybe you can’t sleep at night but can barely keep your eyes open during the day. Maybe you’re stumbling through the month like a melancholy robot — mostly upright, mildly conscious, but deeply unimpressed with existence.

And isn’t it cruelly ironic that exactly when we’re all miserable from light deprivation, the government decides to turn the lights off an hour early?

Thanks, folks. Really helpful.

Light and Happiness (a Love Story as Old as Humans)

Humans have a deep evolutionary connection with light — not metaphorical light, not spiritual light, not “good vibes” light — we’re talking about actual photons hitting your eyeballs. For centuries, nearly every culture has tried to cheer up the dark months by adding more light: bonfires, candles, lantern festivals, torches, flaming wheels, glowing turnips… you name it, someone set it on fire.

Even our pop songs know what’s up:

• You are the sunshine of my life.

• You light up my life.

• I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day.

• Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.

But when there isn’t enough light?

We become depressed, anxious, sluggish, and mildly feral. We want to curl up under a quilt with a 40-pound bag of potato chips and hibernate until April.

In short:

Light = joy.

Dark = sadness.

This is not complicated.

The Sun Tarot Affirmation Poster available on Etsy

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): The Winter Blues With a Capital B

The official psychological name for the winter blues is Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD — which is honestly too accurate. It ranges from “a little down” to “I may never be cheerful again and also don’t touch me.”

Depending on which study you read, SAD affects anywhere from 5% of Americans to 10 million people, with symptoms like:

• chronic sadness

• sleep pattern chaos

• irritability

• carb cravings

• emotional flatness

• hiding from society like a depressed woodland creature

If you’ve ever had it, you know what a total beast it can be. While everyone else is decking halls and singing carols, you’re sitting at home thinking:

“Crap… three more months of this.”

I’ve had SAD kick my ass more than once, so I was very happy to discover that it’s now the subject of its own therapeutic specialty:

CBT-SAD — Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Seasonal Affective Disorder.

And it’s not as complicated as it sounds.

The Three Pillars of Beating SAD (According to CBT-SAD)

1. Increase Your Light

This one feels obvious:

If darkness is the problem, light is the solution.

But not just any light.

You need a blast of sunrise-level brightness first thing in the morning — something that tells your brain:

“Hello, it’s daytime, stop making melatonin.”

Enter: the mood-enhancing light box.

These used to be huge contraptions you practically had to strap to your head. Now they’re about the size of a tablet, reasonably priced, and honestly kind of pleasant.

Light boxes work because they:

• mimic sunrise

• raise serotonin

• lower melatonin

• reset your circadian rhythm

• tell your brain to get out of bed and stop being a raccoon

This is the one I use because it’s inexpensive and has great reviews:

2. Vitamin D3 (Your Winter Sunshine Backup Plan)

We naturally get Vitamin D from sunshine — so of course, in winter, our levels tank. Add the fact that we’re bundled head-to-toe like sentient laundry bags, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for deficiency.

Low Vitamin D contributes to:

• low serotonin

• flat dopamine

• brain fog

• irritability

• low energy

• general “I’m over this” mood

Supplementing D3 helps stabilize:

• serotonin

• dopamine

• inflammation

• sleep-wake cycles

• mood regulation

And best of all: it’s cheap.

You can grab it on Amazon or at the pharmacy.

3. Reframing the Way You Think About Winter

This is where the cognitive part comes in.

My sister once pointed out that constantly referring to winter as “the dark times” might not be the healthiest mindset. Fair enough.

If we’ve had rough winters in the past, we tend to brace for them like emotional storm preppers:

• “I hate winter.”

• “I dread those long dark months.”

• “Wake me up when it’s spring.”

These thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies.

CBT-SAD teaches us to rewire those expectations and rewrite our inner scripts — not with toxic positivity, but with seasonal intelligence.

For example:

• Winter is not the enemy — winter is the exhale.

• Early nights are invitations to gentler evenings.

• Light is scarce now, so I become intentional with it.

• Winter is not a shutdown — it’s a recalibration.

These reframes help your brain reinterpret winter as:

• restorative

• quiet

• intentional

• gentle

• rhythmic

Instead of something to dread, it becomes something to work with.

I’ve included 15 winter reframes as a free downloadable PDF that you can get by clicking here:

CBT_SAD_Winter_Reframes Download

Final Thoughts (and a Pep Talk)

If SAD is hitting you hard, it’s worth finding a good therapist who understands seasonal depression. But even without professional help, these three pillars can make a huge difference.

Hopefully, this little article gives you a few ideas about how to get the Bah Humbug out of your brain and bring some light back into your winter.

And remember:

Light returns. It always returns.

The Six of Cups — Protecting the Inner Child of Your Art

The Six of Cups reminds us that our creativity flows from the innocence of the inner child. Protecting that child means honoring your art, choosing who sees it, and never letting careless criticism silence your joy.

When Beauty Meets Criticism

Have you ever created something you thought was beautiful — a painting, an essay, even a garden — and when you finally shared it, the first thing someone did was point out the flaws? Instead of seeing what you were trying to express, they zeroed in on what they thought was wrong.

There’s always a tension between creating and sharing. When we make something real — assuming we’re not just hacking away — we’re revealing a piece of our heart, our soul, our lived experience. A careless critique can feel like a personal attack. It can leave us feeling exposed, vulnerable, even ashamed.

The Inner Child at Play

Picasso once said, “All children are born artists; the problem is to remain an artist as we grow up.” Creativity flows from the same source as play — from the child who once molded mud into castles or splashed finger paints across paper just for the joy of it.

That inner child still lives inside us, but it’s easily wounded. A thoughtless comment can silence it. A dismissive tone can make it retreat. And when that happens, the creative flow — the very essence of who we are — begins to dry up.

The Birth of the Critic

Mel Brooks joked that with the birth of art came the inevitable afterbirth — the critic. And he wasn’t wrong. If you take your creativity seriously, you’ll eventually encounter people who feel compelled to “fix” your work.

Julia Cameron wrote that before we can become good artists, we must first give ourselves permission to be bad ones. Every artist, writer, gardener, or musician produces clumsy beginnings — and even seasoned creators sometimes turn out a piece that just doesn’t land.

The creative process is messy and human. Yet while you’re admiring what went right, someone else may focus only on what went wrong.

The Wound of the Inner Artist

Cameron also warned that exposing your inner artist to harsh criticism is the emotional equivalent of child abuse. It’s like taking the eager, innocent child who offers you their finger painting and saying, “That’s terrible. You don’t really have any talent, do you?”

If you choose a creative life, criticism is inevitable. Some people simply won’t resonate with your vision, and occasionally you’ll make something that misses the mark. That’s part of the territory. But you can — and must — protect your inner artist with the same fierce loyalty you’d show a child under attack.

Learning by Heart

I became an artist late in life and am entirely self-taught. I picked up a mallet and chisel and learned to carve wood through trial, error, and stubborn joy. I learned to paint the same way.

Looking back, I can see how rough those early pieces were — primitive, awkward, untrained — and yet they were full of life. I still remember the pride I felt each time I saw progress take shape beneath my hands.

Claiming the title artist took courage. The first time I walked into a gallery and asked, “Would you show my work?” was absolutely terrifying.

A Pact of Protection

One simple, unbreakable pact guides me still: when someone criticizes my art, that’s the last time they see my art.

Showing your work is an act of intimacy — an unveiling of something deeply personal. The art flows from the child within you, and that child deserves protection.

How to Shine Your Star and NOT Be a Good Codependent

Do you ever feel invisible, like you’ve disappeared into someone else’s needs? The Star reversed shows how codependency drains us — and how to take back your light.

Of all of the forms of codependency, perhaps the most insidious is the, “good,” kind. The kind where we’re actually making ourselves less, because it’s the right thing to do.

Or so we think.

Our personal light, our Spirit becomes dimmed because we’re trying to make someone else’s shine a little brighter. If it goes on for too long, we can even forget who we really are.

WHAT CODEPENDENCY REALLY MEANS

When we hear the word, “codependency,” most of us think of the classic scenario involving an alcoholic/addict and the person taking care of him. In that sort of a relationship, the alcoholic may have the money, but he’s too screwed up to really take care of himself. The codependent takes care of him – sees that the bills are paid on time, buys the groceries, cleans the house, defends him from criticism, but doesn’t have any personal funds.

The result, of course, is that neither party is able to survive on their own. They are mutually dependent on the other for survival and they may hate each other but they also need each other.

At its root, though, codependency is any relationship where we chronically subordinate our own needs and desires to someone else’s.

That can actually take the form of a noble pursuit. In a very real sense, good parents subordinate their own needs and desires to rearing their children until the children can fly on their own. We can also see it in home healthcare situations, where one partner in the relationship is literally too ill to care for herself and the other partner becomes a full-time caretaker.

These are the, “good,” forms of codependency where we’re basically just doing what’s right and what’s loving. But they can still destroy us over the long haul.

MAKING OURSELVES SMALLER

One of the hallmarks of codependency is shrinking ourselves while inflating someone else.

In the home healthcare situation that I just mentioned, the partner who is healthy may be devoting her entire life to taking care of the partner who is ill, yet insisting that, “it’s no big deal.” She may sacrifice her social life, her hobbies, her time for herself to an endless round of cooking, cleaning, medications, and taking her partner to medical appointments. She may have completely given up her own life in order to preserve his.

Because the other person’s light is so dimmed, we do everything we can to make it shine a little brighter. We praise them, we prop them up, we take care of their every need and we never, ever, let them feel that they are, “less than,” because of their illness.

Over time, this creates an energy imbalance that leaves us feeling like invisible ghosts, like we never had the chance to live as our fullest, most authentic selves because we’ve disappeared into someone else’s needs.

The real tragedy of codependency isn’t just exhaustion – it’s the slow erosion of Self.

THE STAR REVERSED

In the Tarot, the exemplar of codependency is The Star reversed. When it’s upright, The Star is a beacon of hope, inspiration, and healing. It’s someone who is fully shining his light into the world.

When it’s reversed, it can point directly to codependent patterns such as:

• Outsourcing your self-worth to another person.

• Over-giving and self-sacrifice until your own cup is bone dry.

• Healing others while neglecting your own healing.

• Depending on someone’s approval to feel hopeful.

• Pretending everything’s fine just to keep the relationship intact.

The Star reversed doesn’t mean you’ve lost your light, though. It means you’ve been dimming it.

THE ANTIDOTE IS RECLAIMING YOUR OWN LIGHT

The medicine for The Star reversed is to consciously reclaim your own radiance:

• Affirm your intrinsic value through affirmations, creative expression, and celebrating small achievements. That can be as easy as taking a few moments to journal every morning and write about what YOUR dreams are.

• Set boundaries and practice saying “no” without guilt. That can be as simple as saying, “No, I don’t watch that television show,” or, “I’d rather listen to MY music.”

• Shift your focus from “I’ll fix them” to “I’ll care for myself first.” You DO have a right to savor your morning coffee before you make their breakfast.

• Anchor hope internally by nurturing personal goals, spiritual practices, or creative outlets. Do you love to paint or write or garden? Insist on taking some time for that every week. No excuses and no interruptions. Even if it’s only an hour, that’s your sacred space.

• Practice radical honesty — with yourself and others. If you hate what you’re doing, you’ve got a right to express that. If you think you deserve some extra praise and kindness instead of being taken for granted, you’ve got a right to that, too.

• Cultivate interdependence, where two whole people choose connection rather than two halves clinging to each other. Especially if there’s an imbalance in money, remind your partner frequently of all of the things that you do and how much he’d have to pay to have someone other than you do them.

Each of these steps helps you pour back into your own cup — and when you shine, you inspire others to shine too.

THE PARADOX OF HEALING

The paradox of this type of codependency is that we usually take it on precisely because we ARE good, loving, kind people. If we see someone who needs help, we help them. If our child is troubled, we’re there for them 200%. If our partners are ill, of COURSE we’re going to move heaven and earth to take care of them.

But as it goes on . . . and on . . . and on . . . that good, loving person who is our core being begins to erode. It isn’t that we become bad people or quit caring – it’s that we simply begin to disappear. We become nothing but appendages to the needs of the people that we’re caring for.

The lesson of The Star is to let our light shine again. That core of ourselves that we’re losing through the codependency is what was healing the other person to begin with. When we lose it, we lose our ability to heal, not just them, but ourselves.

We have to let our lights shine.

“The Star,” a personal affirmation poster available on my etsy site

Will This Love Really Last? 10 Tarot Cards That Say “Yes”

Wondering if your love will really last? Tarot offers powerful clues. Here are the top 10 “yes” cards for romance — symbols of harmony, joy, and lasting connection.

While the Tarot doesn’t hand out guarantees, it does shine a light on the energies present in a relationship. And some cards are so clear, so affirming, that when they appear in a spread, they almost shout “yes!”

Why Tarot for Love Questions?

Love and relationships are the number one category of Tarot inquiries. People turn to the cards when they’re uncertain about where things stand, or when they’re weighing the long-term potential of a relationship.

Tarot won’t say, “This relationship is guaranteed to last forever.” But what it will do is highlight the dynamics at play — the emotional energy, the strengths, and the challenges that shape a partnership. And when certain cards appear, they point strongly toward harmony, mutual growth, and a lasting bond.

The Top 10 Tarot “Yes” Cards for Romance

1. The Lovers

This is the archetypal card of love, union, and attraction. It represents shared values and choices that strengthen the bond. When The Lovers appear, the message is clear: the relationship is rooted in deep connection.

2. Two of Cups

The quintessential partnership card. It reflects mutual attraction, balance, and reciprocity. The Two of Cups points to a genuine soul connection where both people bring equal energy to the table.

3. Ten of Cups

This is the “happily ever after” card. It symbolizes long-term happiness, emotional fulfillment, and family harmony. If you’re asking about lasting love, the Ten of Cups is a resounding yes.

4. Four of Wands

A card of celebration, milestones, and commitment. It often shows up around engagements, weddings, or moving in together. It’s a sign that the relationship is not only joyful but ready to move into the next chapter.

5. The Empress

Abundance, nurturing, and fertility flow through this card. The Empress speaks of love that supports growth — creative partnership, deep affection, and the potential to build something lasting together.

6. The Star

The Star brings healing, inspiration, and spiritual alignment. In love, it suggests that the relationship is not only joyful but also restorative, giving both partners hope and a sense of divine timing.

7. Six of Cups

Sweetness, comfort, and sincerity. This card speaks to simple pleasures and genuine affection. Whether it’s new love or a rekindled flame, the Six of Cups highlights warmth and emotional honesty.

8. The Sun

Few cards are as positive as The Sun. It represents joy, openness, and vitality. In romance, it signals a relationship where both people feel seen, supported, and energized.

9. Ace of Cups

The overflowing chalice of love. This card signals the beginning of a new relationship or the renewal of affection in an existing one. It’s pure emotional abundance and a beautiful green light for love.

10. Two of Wands

While not strictly a “romance card,” the Two of Wands points to planning a shared future. It suggests vision, growth, and expansion — a partnership where both people are willing to build together.

What These Cards Have in Common

Look at these ten cards together, and a pattern emerges:

Union & Commitment: Lovers, Two of Cups, Four of Wands, Ten of Cups.
Emotional Fulfillment: Ace of Cups, Six of Cups, Empress.
Joy & Inspiration: Sun, Star, Two of Wands.

The common theme? Relationships that thrive on balance, mutual support, and a shared vision for the future.

A Note of Realism

Of course, not every card in the Tarot is a “yes.” Sometimes the spread brings red flags — lessons that need to be learned before love can grow strong. That doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed, but it does mean awareness and patience are needed.

Stay tuned: in a future post, we’ll explore the Top 10 “No” Cards for Love Questions.

Conclusion

Deciding if a love will last is never easy. But the Tarot provides more than predictions — it offers symbolic guidance about the energy flowing through your relationship.

When the “yes” cards appear, they suggest love that’s harmonious, joyful, and ready to grow into the future. If you see these cards in your spread, take it as the Universe’s way of saying: love is worth the leap.

“Just the Tarot,” by Dan Adair – A kindle ebook available on Amazon

Recovery, Shame, and The World Card

In therapy or recovery but still haunted by your past? This post explores how The World card can help transform shame and regret into growth. By embracing even painful histories, we can find “closure without a bow” — turning painful memories into guides instead of burdens.

Are you in recovery from alcoholism or addiction but still feel really deep shame about your past?

Are you in therapy but just can’t seem to shake off the depression and anxiety that springs from old beliefs and the ghosts of trauma?

Believe me – you’re not alone. Many of us can stay sober or work our asses off in counseling, but still feel like we’re going through it with a cinder block chained around our necks. Guilt, shame, and memories of what we were can weigh us down to a point where we’re almost paralyzed.

The World card from the Tarot can offer a powerful lens for looking at this struggle and finding a way forward.

A SYMBOL OF COMPLETION

In its traditional meaning, The World card celebrates the completion of one cycle and moving onto the next one. It’s the, “and they lived happily ever after,” card for, “normal,” people

For instance, a person might leave their job after many successful years and move on to another one that presents new challenges.

Or perhaps a parent has spent 18 years raising a child and when the kid goes off to college, the parent finally has time for her own dreams.

Or maybe a writer has spent 2 years putting a book together, it’s finally been published, and now they’re moving on to a new project.

The common theme there is that all of these people can look back and honestly say, “Well done.”

But what happens when we look back at our past and all we can say is, “Oh, christ, what a freaking mess.”

WHEN SATISFACTION ISN’T POSSIBLE

For many of us, the past doesn’t exactly sparkle with bright and cheery accomplishments. Instead, it can feel like an extended disaster zone.

Maybe we worked at the same job for years and got fired because of poor performance.

Perhaps we wasted many years in a toxic, codependent relationship.

Or we might have been so drunk or drugged up that we destroyed everything and everyone we touched.

Trying to get into a sustained recovery can seem almost impossible under the weight of regret. The question is: How do we process all of this and move on to a new life?

WHAT DOES AA SAY ABOUT IT?

When I was trying to help a relative get into recovery, I sat through literally hundreds of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with her.

Let me hasten to say, I’m not trying to push an AA agenda or wave a Big Book in your face. It works for some people, it doesn’t work for others, and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

What really struck me in those meetings, though, was that some of their members had figured out a way to do this. They’d sit there and calmly tell the most horrific stories imaginable about their drinking careers and then talk about how happy they were now.

The phrase that was always repeated was, “We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.” There are two powerful statements in that:

1 – Even if we totally screwed up, we can CHOOSE not to regret it.

2 – We don’t slam the door on it or pretend that it never happened.

It’s not about denying the past. It’s about reclaiming it.

FACING THE PAST WITH COURAGE

Facing what we’d rather forget requires a lot of courage, and we need to give ourselves credit for that struggle. It can also mean that we can mine a few diamonds out of the sewage and become better human beings.

The heartbreak of being totally broken can teach us greater compassion for those who are still struggling.

The mistakes that we made can teach us humility. It’s mighty hard to look down on someone else when you’re lying in a gutter.

The chaos that we endured can teach us resilience and we can realize how strong we truly are to have survived it.

True courage isn’t erasing our story but owning it without shame.

LESSONS FROM NOT SHUTTING THE DOOR

When we keep our past in view – without wallowing in it – we transform it into guidance. Painful memories can evolve into teachers, showing us what to avoid and what truly matters.

Even more, our honesty can become a gift. By sharing our experiences, we offer others a road map through their own dark terrain.

We can look at a friend, a lover, or a neighbor and honestly say, “Oh, man, I know what you’re going through.” Because we do.

The World Affirmation Poster available on my etsy site

CLOSURE WITHOUT TAKING A BOW

I guess that there are, “normal,” people who live more or less all of the time in Happy Land. They move from one wonderful accomplishment to the next and life comes at them with ease and grace. That’s what The World card is all about.

For the rest of us, closure means accepting the whole mess that we may have made of things and integrating it, rather than forgetting it. We accept the fact that we’ve had a lot heavier karma to deal with than most people.

And we remind ourselves that wholeness isn’t about perfection. It’s about embracing all that we are as human beings – our triumphs, our failures, and the courage it takes to live through them.

Sex and The Devil Card – Time for a New Definition?

This is an exploration of the meaning and definition of The Devil tarot card. Is it time to de-sexualize it?

It may be time to take the sex out of The Devil card, or at least scale it way back.

When we look at the traditional definitions of The Devil, he’s a pretty horny guy. He’s linked with illicit affairs, cheating on your spouse, sexual “perversions,” and a variety of scandalous behaviors that good, decent folks just don’t do!

But maybe he’s been typecast.

THE LOVERS AND THE DEVIL – SAME COUPLE ON A DIFFERENT DATE

If you hold up The Lovers and The Devil side by side, you can’t help but notice that they’re the same couple.

In The Lovers, they’re radiant and glowing. They even have an angel hovering over them to let us know that their love is blessed by heaven above.

Fast forward to The Devil and we see them with chains, horns, and flaming tails. There’s a serious, “We may have made some questionable choices,” vibe.

Which begs the question: what happened to these two? Did they skip couples therapy and just dive straight into the underworld? Did he leave the toilet seat up one too many times?

A QUICK HISTORY LESSON

The Tarot as we know it shows up in the 1450s – prime time for the Catholic Inquisition. This was NOT an era noted for swingers or free love. Sexual morality was tightly policed: adultery, premarital affairs, straying outside of monogamy, even masturbation could get you killed by the Bible Police.

So when Tarot artists painted two nude figures on a card, everyone knew what that meant. It meant . . . you know . . . S – E – X. But, nude figures with angel = good, approved sex and nude figures with devil = bad, nasty sex.

Boom – association locked in.

FAST FORWARD TO MODERN TIMES

But here we are in the 21st Century and, my oh my, how things have changed.

Remember just a few years ago when people were totally titillated by the book (and movie) “Fifty Shades of Gray?” It’s nothing but an exploration of bondage and domination dressed up as a novel and – despite the fact that it may have been one of the worst written books in history – it sold over 150 million copies.

We know that people were doing a lot more than just reading it, too, because emergency room visits related to sex toys jumped up by over 50%. They were actively checking out those techniques, not just reading about them.

We also know that over a third of Americans admit to cheating on their spouses. And there’s no doubt that THOSE stats are way under reported.

Only about 5% of Americans report being virgins on their wedding nights. What was once mandatory is now more of a museum exhibit.

And monogamy? Still popular but VERY flexible in its applications. Given the divorce rates, it’s obvious that we’re more into serial monogamy than actual this-is-for-life monogamy.

In a nutshell, we’ve outgrown the black-and-white, “good sex versus bad sex” binary thinking. The Devil’s definition is starting to feel more than a little outdated.

SO WHAT DOES THE DEVIL REALLY MEAN?

Here’s a thought: maybe The Devil isn’t about sex gone wrong. Maybe it’s about love gone wrong.

Look closely at the card: the chains around the couple’s necks are so loose that they could slip them off at any time. Which means that they’re staying bound by choice. Or by fear.

That’s the real Devil. The loveless marriage that drags on because it’s easier to stay than to leave. The codependent relationship that’s fueled more by desperation than devotion. The romantic partnership that’s built on money, appearances or habit instead of love.

Those are the heavy chains that we put on ourselves. Not fiery lust, but destructive attachments that slowly erode our joy.

FINAL WORD: TIME TO RETIRE THE SCANDAL?

Maybe it’s time to let The Devil out of the dungeon of outdated sexual shame. He’s got bigger (and scarier) fish to fry. The next time this card lands in a spread, don’t ask, “Who’s cheating on who?” Instead, ask: “Where in my life am I bound by something that no longer serves me?”

That’s The Devil’s true temptation: not passion or sex, but the CHOICE to stay stuck in a loveless relationship when freedom is only a tug away.

“Just the Tarot,” by Daniel Adair – a kindle ebook available on Amazon

Love, Limerence, and The Ace of Cups? How to Heal Obsessive Attraction with Self-Generated Love

Ever fallen in love with someone you couldn’t have? Psychologists call it “limerence,” but spiritually it’s more than just a crush. This post explores the difference between obsessive attraction and true love, why we sometimes fall for the “wrong” people, and how to heal by generating love from within. Featuring insights from psychology, past-life theory, Ram Dass, and the Ace of Cups, it’s a guide to shifting from longing to self-created wholeness.

Ace of Cups – A Tarot affirmation poster available at Synergy Studio.

Did you ever fall in love with someone you shouldn’t have? Someone who was unavailable, but you still felt intensely attracted to them?

Maybe it was your next door neighbor who was happily married. Maybe it was a co-worker and you KNEW that a work place romance would be a disaster. Hell, maybe it was your 8th grade teacher who was just SO perfect in every way.

GETTING CRUSHED

We used to call that, “getting a crush,” on someone. We meet someone and we just know that we’re supposed to be together, even though everything else is saying, “No, you’re not.”

Psychologists – as psychologists tend to do – have invented a new term for it which is, “limerence.” Here’s a definition:

“Limerence is an involuntary, intense, romantic obsession characterized by intrusive thoughts and a longing for emotional reciprocation, often leading to emotional suffering due to unmet romantic needs.”

In other words, having a crush on someone you probably shouldn’t have a crush on.

IT’S ALL PERFECTLY NATURAL

Now, this has been going on ever since the world began and, of course, it’s caused a passel of trouble. Marriages end, people lose their jobs, reputations and careers are destroyed. All in the name of love.

Which is puzzling, isn’t it? Love is supposed to be this grand, wonderful adventure that lets us soar to new heights on the wings of the person we’re in love with. So why is all of this so painful and frustrating?

THE CALM, INNER VOICE

I had a teaching dream once about spirit guides and spiritual guidance. I call them, “teaching dreams,” because they’re very lucid, very clear and they usually have to do with some issue that’s really bothering me.

The subject of this dream was, “How do I distinguish true spiritual guidance from my own desires and ego?”

And the answer was that spiritual guidance is never harsh, never critical, never ominous. It’s always gentle, loving, and kind and leaves us feeling nurtured rather than criticized or beaten up.

The same principle applies to falling in love. If it feels sweet and kind, it’s probably real love. If it involves obsessive thinking, insecurity, self-doubt, or criticism . . . hey, it may be a hell of a crush, but it ain’t love.

WHY DOES IT HAPPEN?

Why do we fall in love with people who aren’t, “right,” for us?

Psychologists, philosophers and playwrights have been trying to figure that one out for hundreds of years and really haven’t made much progress.

My personal theory is that these are relationships that are, “out of time.” And I don’t mean that in the sense of, “Whoops, we’re out of time.”

Rather, what I’m talking about is old relationships from previous incarnations that have been displaced in time. The feelings are still there, but they’re no longer appropriate in their old form.

Perhaps we were married to someone or had a super, sizzling hot sexual affair with them two lifetimes ago. Because of that intense attraction, we meet them again in this lifetime.

Only – guess what? – they’re married to someone else. Or they’re our teacher or mentor. Or perhaps we’re straight, but they’re the same sex that we are.

The feelings are just as intense. The desire to be with them is just as strong. But it just ain’t happening this go-round.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

Well . . . nothing, in most cases. Just observe it and sit with it. Realize that you love this person but that the love has to take a different form than romantic love.

We can feel it. We can cherish it. But we don’t have to act on it. If there’s a huge internal conflict about getting romantically or sexually involved with someone, that’s not a very good way to start out, is it?

FILL YOUR HEART WITH LOVE

Ram Dass said that we frequently mistake other people as the source of love, rather than realizing that they’re just vehicles that get us to the love.

When we’re seriously crushing on someone we shouldn’t be crushing on, we feel that as a loss, as a deficit, as if we’ve got this Grand Canyon sized hole in our hearts that only they can fill.

Fortunately, we’ve got this wonderful part of our energy systems called, “the heart chakra.” It can generate an infinite amount of love because love actually IS infinite.

We can sit down at any time or place and just meditate on love, meditate on that chakra filling up with that sweet, kind essence that is love and the feeling of not being complete immediately goes away.

IT ISN’T THEM, IT’S US

We’ve been programmed into believing that love always flows out of someone else and into us. That if someone, “out there,” doesn’t love us, we won’t get the love we need.

That’s really the source of the pain in limerence. We’re convinced that without that other person’s love, we’re just going to be miserable and unfulfilled. We can’t get to the love we want and so it hurts.

Not true.

We create our own love, in our own hearts. We receive love when we open our heart centers and intentionally, consciously fill them up.

THE ACE OF CUPS

When we look at the Ace of Cups we can see this message very clearly. The cup is our heart and the love isn’t flowing out of another person into the cup. It’s flowing straight out of the Universe. Love is everywhere. It’s a Universal energy and we just need to open ourselves to receiving it. If we occasionally receive it from another person, that’s great.

But if we don’t, that’s not a tragedy and it doesn’t need to be painful. The source of love is always in our own hearts.

The Wheel of Fortune and Flowing with these Strange Rhythms

This post explores the deeper meaning of The Wheel of Fortune Tarot card and its connection to the Kybalion’s Principle of Rhythm. Life’s ups and downs are not random but part of a greater pattern that ultimately arcs toward the positive. Discover how to maintain perspective, rise above collective fear, and navigate dark times with love, compassion, and inner strength.

Let’s face it: we’re all a little exhausted from the constant insanity in the world right now. Whether you’re right, left, or middle-of-the-bird, it can feel like we’re adrift in a sea of chaos. When it goes on long enough, we start to lose our perspective and wonder if things will ever be “normal” again.

The message of The Wheel of Fortune is that everything passes and everything changes. The people who are at the top of the wheel right now will eventually be cast down, and the people who are at the bottom will eventually be elevated again.

Life is always cyclical — and this, too, shall pass.

The Principle of Rhythm

As I discussed in my book about The Kybalion, Western Occultism calls this The Principle of Rhythm. Here in Earth School, everything is rhythmic, and we only have to open our eyes to see it.

The tides come in and then go out.

The Moon waxes and then wanes.

Life explodes into the richness of spring and then recedes into the cold bleakness of winter.

Even great nations expand and then ultimately diminish into shadows of what they once were.

Everything rises and falls — and then rises again.

The same principle applies to human beings and all our affairs. We may have a string of incredibly good luck and then a period where we can’t buy a break. We may feel joyously happy for a while and then deeply depressed and anxious before we find our way back to happiness. We may fall deeply in love with someone and then end up despising them.

The Pendulum

The Kybalion envisions this process as the pendulum of a clock. It swings to the left, and then it swings to the right. And as the Principle of Rhythm states: “The swing to the left is always equal to the swing to the right.”

Modern science recognizes this in Newton’s Third Law of Motion: “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”

When we think about human life, we can see it in terms of alternating energies. We may go through incredibly negative periods — full of stress, sadness, and anxiety — only to be followed by times of great happiness, when everything seems to go our way.

We may have moments where we’re counting quarters to buy groceries, followed by periods of real abundance when the cash flows in like a river.

The collective energy of politics follows the same law – a hard swing to the right is inevitably followed by a hard swing to the left. Hatred is eventually replaced by compassion.

But It’s Not a Closed System

If that was all there was to the rhythms of life, it would be a pretty depressing scenario. It would feel like: “Okay, things are going well right now, but I can’t really enjoy it because it’s all going to turn to shit again.”

If life were nothing but good/bad/good/bad — ad infinitum — it would be the spiritual equivalent of one step forward and one step back. We’d be living, but not progressing. Stuck in an endless cycle of growth and degeneration. A closed system where nothing ever really improves.

The good news is that, as The Kybalion puts it, “nature favors the positive.” Positive energy will always overcome negative energy. Love will always be stronger than hate. Compassion will always conquer cruelty.

Put another way: yes, as long as we’re in Earth School, the pendulum will appear to move equally in both directions. The truth, though, is that it’s always arcing just a little more toward the positive — whether we can see it or not.

So What Should We Do Right Now?

We are, right now, in dark times. As Asha Nayaswami says in this wonderful video, there is demonstrable evil in the world, and some humans are acting out their darkest impulses.

So how do we deal with that? What should we do right now?

The advice of The Kybalion is to “rise above it.” We can’t control the Principle of Rhythm or the turns of the Wheel of Fortune. Those are built into the fabric of Earth School. We don’t have to be swung by the pendulum, though. We can rise above it spiritually.

What we can control is our reaction to it. We can make a conscious effort not to be swept along in the collective energies of hatred, fear, and anger. We can maintain our own little bubbles of love and compassion and keep putting out as much positive energy as we can.

As Nayaswami says, that doesn’t mean we become spiritual doormats. It doesn’t mean we avoid confronting evil when we encounter it. It means we confront it with truth, with as much gentleness and understanding as we can muster, and that we refuse to join it in any way, shape, or form.

Perspective

Above all, it means maintaining perspective. Keep your eyes on the horizon, not just on the dirt road full of potholes. Remember that the pendulum will swing back in the opposite direction.

When it does, life will not only be positive again — it will be more positive. People will learn from these experiences, and they’ll use that knowledge to build a better world.

We just have to be patient… and wait for the wheel to turn.

The Hierophant Card, Spirituality, and That Time That Ram Dass Got Conned

In this candid exploration of The Hierophant Tarot card, I unpack both the light and shadow sides of spiritual authority. From my own rocky history with organized religion to cautionary tales of gurus gone wrong, this post looks at how The Hierophant can represent both guidance and manipulation. Learn how to spot the difference between a true spiritual teacher and a false one, and why, in the end, your own connection to the Sacred should always be at the center.

The Hierophant Card from the Waite Tarot Deck

I’ve always had a hostile feeling toward The Hierophant card. I was raised in the old, Latin, fundamentalist Catholic Church, and like many a recovering Catholic, the mere sight of a priest, pope, or prelate is enough to make me start hissing and spitting.

The image of the Hierophant sitting on his golden throne while tonsured followers bow before him is a perfect example of what I don’t like about organized religion. It’s not the Sacred Divine that’s central to the image—it’s the priest. The priest is the intermediary you have to go through to get to the Sacred.

This setup isn’t limited to Catholicism, of course. We find it in all religions. There are countless priests, rabbis, pastors, vicars, imams, and gurus who claim to hold the Key to the Kingdom—and you’ve got to drop them a little sugar before they’ll let you see it.

Religion Versus Spirituality

“I’m more spiritual than religious.”

We’ve all heard that one—so often, in fact, it’s become almost a cliché in New Age circles. In very simple terms, religions claim to hold knowledge from God/dess—usually in the form of a book or oral teachings—and you have to pay someone (priest, rabbi, guru, etc.) to interpret it for you.

Spirituality, on the other hand, involves direct knowledge of the Sacred through personal meditation, taking psychedelic drugs, or having some other form of mystical insight. You don’t need to pay anyone to interpret it because you’re the one having the experience.

In Tarot terms, that’s the polarity between The High Priestess and The Hierophant: The High Priestess represents direct spiritual experience, while The Hierophant represents organized religion.

The Good and the Bad Faces of The Hierophant

I recently had a discussion with another Tarot reader who seemed mildly shocked by my open hostility to The Hierophant. I could have jumped right in with thousands of examples: pedophile priests, pastors who are sleeping with members of their flocks, imams and rabbis calling for each other’s destruction.

Organized religion makes that all too easy, right? There really are a lot of creepy critters living under that rock.

But I held off and listened to her. Her point was that The Hierophant can also represent the spiritual teacher who is genuinely a spiritual teacher. Examples might include yoga teachers, meditation guides, or instructors at temples and spiritual retreats.

And yes, I suppose that includes priests and pastors who sincerely try to teach compassion, love, and charity.

There are plenty of people who don’t know how to even begin their spiritual journey, much less reach the destination. For them, spiritual “instructors” can be a vital step on the ladder.

Still… be very, very careful.

The Guru Who Got Conned by a Guru

I’ve long been a fan of Ram Dass. Maybe it’s because he was a fellow Aries and I understood him on that level. Maybe it was his gentle, self-deprecating humor. Maybe it was because about 80% of what he said was solid truth.

If I were to name a “good” spiritual instructor, he’d be near the top of my list.

Despite all of that, he wrote an astounding article in a 1976 edition of Yoga Journal outlining how he had been thoroughly and totally conned by another guru named Joya.

This was years after receiving his own spiritual transmission from his original guru in India. Despite that grounding, he stumbled right into Joya’s web. Within months, he was having sex with her, convinced she was channeling Indian goddesses, and buying her gold bracelets and rings to “protect her energy.”

He bought it—hook, line, and sinker.

Add to that the drunken sexual abuses of Chögyam Trungpa, the murders and kidnappings that evolved out of the Hari Krishna movement, and, of course, the horrors of the Bhagwan Rajneesh compound in Oregon, and you begin to get the picture.

Even the “good” face of The Hierophant can turn bad. No one following these leaders woke up and thought, “Hey, I’d really like to find a guru who’s going to rip me off, sexually abuse me, and get me involved in criminal activities.”

Who’s in the Center?

We can actually learn a lot just by looking at The Hierophant card.

A. The pope figure is in the center. If the spiritual teaching you’re receiving revolves around a particular person—if that person’s existence is central to the teaching—you’ve got a false teacher.

B. The figure is being worshipped. Unless your teacher can levitate six feet into the air and float around the room, don’t buy the idea that there’s something “divine” about them. Even then, check for wires. Real teachers may have siddhis—extraordinary spiritual powers—but they don’t flaunt them, expect worship, or claim to be gods or goddesses.

C. The figure sits on a throne wearing a golden crown. There’s a reason people contrast the spiritual with the material. Real spiritual teachers don’t hoard treasures. As the old country song asked, “Would Jesus wear a Rolex?”

Um… no. He wouldn’t.

Teachers Are Stepping Stones

If you’re involved in a religious practice—whether Tibetan Buddhism or American Christianity—and you feel it’s making you a better person, more power to you.

But remember: we are meant to evolve beyond teachers. We absorb what we need from them and then move on to the next plateau. Organized religion can be a stepping stone at the start of the journey, but it’s not the destination.

And no… I still don’t like The Hierophant.