Healing Our Week with the Tarot: Using “Antidotes” for Negative Energy

Weekly Tarot as mindfulness: forecast your reactions, apply the antidote (compassion, joy, courage), and make your inner world a peaceful place

There’s an internet meme I really love that says, “Maybe the day had a shitty you.”  It’s a good reminder that our own energy creates a lot of what we experience as being, “outside of us.”  Let’s talk about a very simple mental hygiene routine with the Tarot that we can use to keep our energy clean and positive.

The Buddhist Practice of Antidoting

Buddhism has long recognized that positive emotions are good for us and negative emotions are bad for us.  There’s nothing revolutionary about that simple fact.  Happiness makes us happy and sadness makes us depressed.  What a concept!

Buddhism gets even more radical than that, though, and refers to negative emotions as, “poisons.”  Constantly feeling the negative emotions – anger, hatred, jealousy, depression – is like drinking poison.  It makes us physically, emotionally, and spiritually sick.

And, if we drink poison, we obviously need an antidote, right?  So, in the Buddhist practice, if we’re angry about something we meditate on loving/compassion.  If we’re jealous of someone, we meditate on feeling good for them.  If we’re afraid, we meditate on courage.  Any negative emotion has a corresponding antidote.

We can easily tie that thinking into a Tarot practice that helps us to stay balanced and stress free.

A Simple Weekly Tarot Practice

At the start of each week, try doing a short four-card predictive spread:

1. Current Conditions

2. What Needs to Be Done

3. Factors Working Against Me

4. Probable Outcome

For example, imagine the reading comes up like this:

• Current Conditions – Five of Cups (reversed) – recovering from sadness

• What Needs to Be Done – Seven of Wands (reversed) – exhausted after a battle and feeling defensive

• Factors Working Against – Five of Swords – conflict, tension, disagreements

• Probable Outcome – Five of Wands – ego struggles for dominance; hollow victories.

Without diving too deeply into analysis, we can see this describes a week of emotional recovery mixed with potential conflict.

The energy of the week feels charged—lots of fives, lots of challenges.

But remember: nothing the Tarot predicts is ever set in stone. It simply points to the energetic weather we’re about to walk into.

Finding the Antidote

So, how do we antidote this kind of energy?

By becoming as peaceful and non-reactive as possible.

If the cards forewarn us that conflict is likely, we can consciously generate its opposite: serenity, patience, and groundedness.  When we carry that peaceful energy into the week, we DON’T blow up at the rude cashier at the grocery store.  We DON’T indulge in road rage when someone cuts us off in traffic.  We DON’T snap at a co-worker when they say something sarcastic to us.

When we carry those antidoting energies, we rise above the fray.

We stop feeding the poison and instead create harmony wherever we go.

In the same way, if our reading predicts sadness or depression, we can consciously seek out things that will make us happy.  If it predicts that we’re going to be scattered, we can do a little extra mindfulness practice.

Turning “Negative” Cards Into Meditation

This is one of the most powerful ways to meditate with the Tarot.

When we pull a card that seems negative, rather than dreading it, we can pause and ask: What’s the opposite of this energy? If this card represents a poison, what’s its antidote?

If the cards suggest sadness or loss, how can we actively cultivate joy?

If they hint at arrogance, how can we practice humility?

If they predict anger or tension, how can we embody calm?

Each “negative” card becomes a mindfulness bell—an invitation to rebalance our inner world.

Empowerment Through Awareness

Instead of thinking, “This is going to be a rough week,” we can say,“This reading is giving me insight into the energies ahead—and tools to shift them.”

This approach gives us agency.

It empowers us to stay in the flow, improve our own energy, and choose how we’ll respond to life’s ups and downs.

No matter what’s happening around us, we’re the ones who have to live in our own minds—and Tarot can help us make that a bright, peaceful place to be.

“Just the Tarot,” by Dan Adair – a kindle ebook of Tarot definitions available on Amazon

The Karma Cards of the Tarot: Lessons, Consequences, and Course Corrections

Some Tarot cards seem to carry more spiritual gravity than others — the ones that reveal how actions return, lessons repeat, and growth becomes inevitable. These are the “karma cards,” reflecting the Kybalion’s Principle of Cause and Effect. Each shows us where the soul confronts the consequences of its choices — and how to rise into a new level of awareness.

What We Mean by “Karma”

Karma isn’t punishment or reward — it’s simply the universal law of cause and effect. Every thought, every word, every choice sends ripples into the field of consciousness, and those ripples eventually return to their source. When we see a “karma card” in a reading, it doesn’t mean the universe is judging us. It means the universe is teaching us.

In The Kybalion, this is expressed as “Every Cause has its Effect; every Effect has its Cause.”

In the Tarot, that principle unfolds symbolically through specific archetypes that reveal how energy cycles back around, how old patterns resolve, and how the soul grows through awareness.

The Major Arcana Karma Cards

Justice (XI) — Karma in its purest form

Justice is the balancing of the scales — the moment when truth emerges and consequences unfold. It represents the return of equilibrium after imbalance, reminding us that integrity, fairness, and honesty always realign the cosmic order. When Justice appears, something in your life is finding its balance again.

Judgment (XX) — The higher reckoning

This is karma’s spiritual octave — the point of awakening. Judgment calls us to review the past with clarity and compassion, to rise from the old self, and to claim renewal. It shows that karmic patterns are completing because understanding has dawned.

The Wheel of Fortune (X) — The turning of cycles

The Wheel reveals how karma is always in motion. Life rises and falls, fortunes shift, and every chapter becomes another turn in the spiral of growth. This card reminds us that luck isn’t random — it’s the natural consequence of the energy we’ve set in motion.

The Hanged Man (XII) — Seeing karma differently

When we find ourselves “stuck,” suspended between worlds, it’s often because the universe is asking us to pause and see things from another perspective. The Hanged Man teaches surrender, acceptance, and the wisdom that comes only when we release control. Sometimes, karma simply says: Wait. See. Understand.

Death (XIII) — Karmic transformation

Death ends what has outlived its purpose. It’s the natural completion of a karmic story — the moment when the past dissolves so new life can begin. In karmic terms, Death is liberation, not loss.

The Devil (XV) — Karma we create ourselves

The Devil shows entanglement — the cycles of desire, addiction, and illusion that keep us bound. It’s the reminder that we forge our own chains, and the key to freedom lies within. Whenever this card appears, it invites us to stop creating new karma and start unbinding the old.

The Tower (XVI) — Karma as course correction

When we resist growth, the universe sometimes intervenes dramatically. The Tower represents those moments of sudden change that dismantle illusion and force renewal. It’s not cosmic punishment — it’s divine intervention, clearing away what can no longer stand.

The World (XXI) — Karma fulfilled

Here, the cycle completes. The lessons have been learned, the soul has integrated its experiences, and balance has been restored. The World is the joy of completion — the karmic graduation that makes space for a new beginning.

Karmic Echoes in the Minor Arcana

While the Major Arcana show the grand architecture of karmic movement, echoes of those same lessons appear in the Minor cards.

Ten of Swords — the final reckoning of a mental or verbal pattern.

Ten of Wands — karmic burdens carried too long.

Six of Pentacles — the law of giving and receiving, the return of generosity.

Eight of Cups — walking away from a karmic cycle that has served its purpose.

Each of these cards shows a microcosm of cause and effect — personal moments of realization that mirror the larger soul journey.

The Deeper Message

The Tarot doesn’t show karma as destiny written in stone — it shows movement, opportunity, and awareness. Every card offers a chance to respond consciously, to change course, to balance energy, and to evolve.

When we recognize a “karma card,” we’re not seeing a sentence. We’re seeing a mirror.

And in that mirror, we find both the story of what has been — and the power to write what comes next.

Please feel free to leave questions in the comments section and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

The Influence of The Emperor Card

The Emperor in Tarot represents structure, authority, and the disciplined use of power. When paired with the other Major Arcana, his influence reveals how stability, order, and leadership shape every phase of life—from creative beginnings and relationships to transformation and mastery. This chart offers quick interpretations of The Emperor in combination with all 22 Major cards, including reversed meanings. Perfect for Tarot readers seeking deeper insight or a printable reference for their readings.

In the absence of a regular blog post for today, I’d like to offer a chart detailing the influence of The Emperor card when paired with the other cards of the Major Arcana. Please feel free to print this and use it for reference in your readings.

Or, if you’d prefer, you can download a PDF version here. Just click on the link and, when it comes up, go to your browser menu and select Print.

The Emperor + The Fool

Establishing order within spontaneity; bringing discipline to new beginnings.

Reversed: Rigidity crushes adventure; fear of chaos blocks growth.

The Emperor + The Magician

Structured willpower manifests results; mastery through disciplined focus.

Reversed: Control issues distort creativity; misuse of authority for personal gain.

The Emperor + The High Priestess

Balancing logic and intuition; wisdom gains form through structure.

Reversed: Repression of the intuitive or feminine; ignoring inner guidance.

The Emperor + The Empress

Perfect union of order and creativity; leadership joined with nurturing power.

Reversed: Domination smothers harmony; imbalance between authority and compassion.

The Emperor + The Hierophant

Law, tradition, and moral authority combine; social order strengthened.

Reversed: Dogmatism or oppressive systems; blind obedience replaces wisdom.

The Emperor + The Lovers

Commitment grounded in integrity; love stabilized through loyalty and structure.

Reversed: Control in relationships; emotional manipulation disguised as protection.

The Emperor + The Chariot

Directed ambition achieves victory; leadership in motion.

Reversed: Power struggle; lack of self-control undermines success.

The Emperor + Strength

Calm authority; inner strength expressed through steady leadership.

Reversed: Harshness; using force instead of gentle courage.

The Emperor + The Hermit

Solitary leadership; wisdom applied in governance or mentorship.

Reversed: Isolation through pride; refusal to listen to guidance.

The Emperor + Wheel of Fortune

Mastering change through stability; fate meets steady will.

Reversed: Resistance to life’s cycles; attempts to control the uncontrollable.

The Emperor + Justice

Fair authority; order maintained through truth and balance.

Reversed: Corruption, hypocrisy, or biased rulings; justice twisted by ego.

The Emperor + The Hanged Man

Surrendering control to gain new perspective; discipline through acceptance.

Reversed: Stubbornness; refusal to yield or adapt leads to downfall.

The Emperor + Death

Transformation of power structures; endings that lead to renewal.

Reversed: Fear of change; clinging to obsolete authority.

The Emperor + Temperance

Measured leadership; control balanced by moderation and patience.

Reversed: Extremism; misuse of authority through lack of balance.

The Emperor + The Devil

The darker side of control; domination and attachment to power.

Reversed: Breaking free from tyranny or self-imposed limitations.

The Emperor + The Tower

Collapse of rigid systems; false structures destroyed to rebuild truthfully.

Reversed: Denial delays the inevitable; abuse of power leads to ruin.

The Emperor + The Star

Hope finds structure; inspired vision made practical through planning.

Reversed: Cynicism and loss of faith; suppression of creative dreams.

The Emperor + The Moon

Authority guided (or confused) by emotion and illusion.

Reversed: Paranoia or manipulation; losing control through fear and fantasy.

The Emperor + The Sun

Confidence and vitality in leadership; stability brings joy and success.

Reversed: Arrogance; demanding recognition rather than earning respect.

The Emperor + Judgement

Accountability; renewal through responsibility and moral clarity.

Reversed: Refusal to own past actions; defensiveness when challenged.

The Emperor + The World

Achievement through mastery and structure; completion of a lasting legacy.

Reversed: Fear of letting go; rigidity blocks full integration.

“Just the Tarot,” by Dan Adair – A Kindle E-book available on Amazon

The Top Ten Tarot Cards Indicating Something Is About to Change

Feeling stuck in life, like the gears just won’t move? Tarot can reveal when change is on the horizon. Here are the top ten cards that signal transformation, progress, and fresh starts are just ahead.

Are you feeling like your gears are stuck in park and you just can’t make any progress?

Life has those frustrating phases when nothing seems to move forward, and it feels like the universe hit “pause.” But in Tarot, there are clear signs that the stillness is temporary — that something is about to shift. When these cards appear in your spread, they often signal that change is on the horizon.

Here are the top ten Tarot cards that whisper, “Get ready — things are about to give.”

If you’d like to download this list as a PDF file to use in your reference library, please click here.

1. The Tower

The most dramatic of them all. The Tower represents sudden upheaval, breakdown of old structures, and unexpected change. While often unsettling, it clears space for new growth that couldn’t happen otherwise.

2. Death

Not about physical death, but transformation. The Death card announces the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. Something old must be released so something new can be born.

3. The Wheel of Fortune

The cosmic gears are turning again. The Wheel reminds us that nothing stays the same forever — what goes down must rise again. Big shifts in luck, fate, or perspective are coming.

4. Judgement

This card calls for awakening and renewal. Judgement often signals that a chapter is closing, and you’re being invited to step into a new version of yourself.

5. The Fool

When The Fool appears, it’s time to leap. New journeys, fresh starts, and adventures are right around the corner. Change is already waiting at the door.

6. The Hanged Man

At first glance, this card seems like being stuck — but it’s the pause before release. The Hanged Man invites you to surrender, gain a new perspective, and prepare for the shift that follows.

7. The World

Completion is at hand. The World marks the end of a major cycle and the transition into the next. It’s change with a sense of wholeness and accomplishment.

8. Eight of Wands

Fast movement! When the Eight of Wands shows up, delays are ending, and events will soon speed up. It’s the card of sudden progress, news, or opportunities arriving quickly.

9. Ace of Wands

The spark of something new. This card often signals a breakthrough — fresh energy, creative drive, or passion ready to ignite. It marks the turning point from stagnation into action.

10. Five of Pentacles (Reversed)

In upright form, this card shows hardship, but reversed it often signals recovery and things turning around. Change is coming to lift you out of difficulty and into support, healing, or new resources.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been in one of those liminal phases where nothing seems to move, these cards are reminders that stagnation never lasts forever. Whether the change comes suddenly like lightning (The Tower) or slowly like the seasons (Death, The World), the Tarot assures us: movement is inevitable.

So if your spread shows one of these cards, take heart — the gears are about to shift, and your story is moving forward again.

“Just the Tarot,” by Dan Adair – A kindle ebook available on Amazon

The Influence of The Empress Card

The Empress in Tarot embodies creativity, abundance, and nurturing energy. When paired with the other Major Arcana, her influence reveals how growth, harmony, and fertility play out in every area of life—from relationships and intuition to cycles of transformation. This chart offers quick interpretations of The Empress in combination with all 22 Major cards, including reversed meanings. Perfect for Tarot readers seeking deeper insights or printable reference material.

In the absence of a regular blog post for today, I would like to offer a chart detailing the influence of The Empress Tarot card when paired with the other cards of the Major Arcana. Please feel free to print this and use it for reference in your readings.

Or, if you’d prefer, you can download a PDF version here. Just click on the link and when it comes up, go to your browser menu and click on print.

The Empress + The Fool – Nurturing new beginnings. Creative innocence finds fertile ground.

Reversed: Overprotection stifles growth; immaturity in creativity.

The Empress + The Magician – Manifesting abundance through intention and artistry.

Reversed: Manipulating creativity; false appearances of growth.

The Empress + The High Priestess – Balance of intuition and creativity; inner wisdom flowering into expression.

Reversed: Repressed intuition blocks creativity; confusion in nurturing roles.

The Empress + The Emperor – Harmony between creation and structure; nurturing power within order.

Reversed: Domination suppresses creativity; imbalance between control and flow.

The Empress + The Hierophant – Sacred traditions inspire fertile creativity; nurturing spiritual communities.

Reversed: Stagnation within rigid traditions; blocked feminine wisdom.

The Empress + The Lovers – Love as a fertile union; creativity fueled by harmony and relationship.

Reversed: Codependency; love smothered rather than nurtured.

The Empress + The Chariot – Creative direction with determination; abundance set into motion.

Reversed: Lack of discipline wastes creative potential; scattered nurturing energy.

The Empress + Strength – Gentle power; nurturing builds resilience.

Reversed: Overindulgence weakens; misplaced compassion.

The Empress + The Hermit – Creativity drawn from solitude; nurturing wisdom within.

Reversed: Isolation stifles growth; withdrawal from fertile opportunities.

The Empress + Wheel of Fortune – Cycles of abundance; harvests following seasons of sowing.

Reversed: Bad luck in creativity; loss of balance in life’s rhythms.

The Empress + Justice – Fairness in nurturing roles; creativity guided by truth.

Reversed: Biased nurturing; injustice in relationships or creative endeavors.

The Empress + The Hanged Man – Creative surrender; new perspectives nurture growth.

Reversed: Stagnation, unwillingness to release control in nurturing.

The Empress + Death – Transformation gives birth to new creation; fertile endings.

Reversed: Resistance to endings; clinging smothers growth.

The Empress + Temperance – Harmony in creativity; nurturing balance and wholeness.

Reversed: Excess stifles balance; nurturing turns to enabling.

The Empress + The Devil – Passionate creativity; fertility bound to desire.

Reversed: Enslavement by overindulgence; blocked nurturing energy.

The Empress + The Tower – Creative breakthroughs; fertile destruction clearing ground for new growth.

Reversed: Suppression of necessary change; smothering collapse.

The Empress + The Star – Hope renewed through nurturing; creativity as healing.

Reversed: Disappointment in creative outcomes; blocked inspiration.

The Empress + The Moon – Intuitive creativity; fertile imagination guided by dreams.

Reversed: Illusion clouds nurturing; confusion in creative flow.

The Empress + The Sun – Joyful abundance; creativity flourishing in light.

Reversed: Overexposure or lack of clarity in nurturing roles.

The Empress + Judgment – Rebirth through nurturing; creativity aligned with higher calling.

Reversed: Misuse of nurturing power; denial of creative responsibility.

The Empress + The World – Completion of cycles; fulfillment through creation and nurture.

Reversed: Lack of closure; unfulfilled creative potential.

“Just the Tarot,” by Dan Adair – A kindle ebook available on Amazon

What To Do When Our Lives Turn Into Crap – Wheel of Fortune Reversed

How to deal with it when you hit a period of bad luck

I recently got The Wheel of Fortune reversed in one of my personal readings and we all know where that’s at:  a period of bad luck coming.  Get ready, because things are NOT going to go the way that you want them to, at least not for a while.

And, since I’m an intuitive, I started thinking about exactly what, “luck,” is.  When we say we’re lucky or we’re unlucky, just what exactly are we talking about?

KARMA

Some of it can be karma, of course.  We’ve all met those people who seem to be blessed with nothing but good fortune.  They were born into families that loved and nurtured them, they were the beauty queens and football heroes in their high schools, and they went on to have wonderful careers, lots of money, and 2.5 semi-perfect children.  Into every life a little rain must fall, but they seem to live under giant umbrellas.

And then there are people who just can’t buy a fucking break.  No matter how hard they try, no matter how they struggle and strive, nothing goes right for them.  They’re always at the right place at the wrong time and money and love evade them like a bunny rabbit on speed.

Many of the people who are blessed with Hallmark Card lives have done little to deserve those lives, and many of the people who are cursed with disastrous existences have done little to deserve THAT fate.  

So all we can do is to shake our heads and say, “Well, it must be karma.  They must have been very, very good or very, very bad in a previous incarnation and now they’re getting what they deserve.”

Because if we DON’T say that, there’s no real justice or balance in it. Then life becomes this sort of an insane lottery where it’s all just a matter of . . . luck.

TIME AND TIDE

Another approach to dealing with bad luck is the Principle of Rhythm that’s discussed in books like The Kybalion.  The idea here is that there’s a natural rhythm to life where sometimes everything’s coming up rainbows and sometimes it all turns to shit.  

The way that the Kybalion explains it is that life is very much like the pendulum of a clock.  It swings first in one direction and then in the opposite direction and each swing is equal to the other.  We may have a period of great good fortune but it will be followed by a period of bad luck and vice versa.  

They reinforced that idea by looking at nature.  The moon waxes and then wanes.  The tides rise and then fall.  People are born, spring into maturity and then die.  Our emotions may be ecstatic one day and really depressed the next.  

There seems to be a natural rhythm where we swing from one extreme to the next on a regular basis but spend most of our time somewhere in the middle.

Of course, the problem with that theory is that it ends up being one-step-forward and one-step-back.  If our bad luck is always equal to our good luck, then we ain’t got no luck at all, brothers and sisters.

The way that they solved it was to say that life TENDS toward the positive.  That even if we have swings between good and bad luck, we have a little more good luck than bad.  So we’re actually making progress even if it feels like our feet are stuck in concrete.

And, yes, they turned to reincarnation to explain why some people have nothing but good luck and some people have nothing but bad luck.  Even if it seems like the clock’’s pendulum got permanently stuck on one side, it’s really just swinging very slowly because we can’t remember our past lives.

Okay . . .

WHO THE HELL KNOWS?

Humans have been trying to explain luck since the beginning of time.  There are a million different theories and formulas about it and they really just boil down to, “How do I get me some of that GOOD luck?”  Or, “How do I avoid that BAD ju-ju?”

A lot of the advice has involved figuring out ways to bribe the crazy gods that we’ve invented.  The Old Testament tells us to burn a fatted calf, because god likes a good barbecue.  The Taoist religions burn fake money because apparently that’s a way of making a deposit in their god’s bank accounts (yes, even gods need a little pocket change.). And, of course, many modern day Christians go to church every Sunday to sort of hedge their bets.  “Hey, Lord, I just put a twenty in the collection plate, and I could use a really lucky week.”

All we really know is that there seems to be something out there that we call, “luck.”  It’s some sort of a force or energy that brings good fortunes into the lives of some people. Its absence brings bad fortunes into the lives of others.  No matter how much we may want to, we can’t buy it or cajole it into our lives or pay a priest or pastor to make it go away when it turns bad.

SO WHAT DO WE DO?

So what do we do when we’re going through a patch of really bad luck?  When we flip over the card and it’s The Wheel of Fortune reversed?  

One solution is to just hunker down and ride it out.  Bad luck can feel like a huge storm that’s raging through our lives and we just need to get into the tornado shelter.  Try to turn off our emotions, grit our teeth, and wait for it to pass.

The Kybalion suggests trying to, “rise above it.”  In other words, there’s not a goddamned thing we can do about that clock pendulum swinging, but we can try to raise our vibrations to a point where it affects us less than it would otherwise.  Eventually the pendulum will swing back in the other direction.  If we stay calm, try to stay positive, and remember that this too shall pass, it will lessen the effects.

BEEN DOWN SO LONG IT LOOKS LIKE UP TO ME

Of course, if we ARE one of those people who seem to have been born under a bad moon, that’s a different kettle of fish.  If there’s been nothing but bad luck for a very long time, then we need to learn to adjust to that, too.

And the only solutions I can come up with there are to try a little harder than the Hallmark Card people and build in the fact that we’re not luck magnets.  We actually need to take the time to write the affirmations, do the visualizations, make the vision boards, and feng shui our houses until they shine like newly minted dimes.  Because it’s NOT going to come naturally to us.  

Maybe we were terrible people in a past life.  Maybe our clock pendulums broke when we were born.  Who knows?  What we do know is that we’ve got to put in a little more effort.  

Ultimately, good luck or bad luck, we make our own lives.

“Just the Tarot,” by Dan Adair – a kindle ebook available on Amazon

How to Shine Your Star and NOT Be a Good Codependent

Do you ever feel invisible, like you’ve disappeared into someone else’s needs? The Star reversed shows how codependency drains us — and how to take back your light.

Of all of the forms of codependency, perhaps the most insidious is the, “good,” kind.  The kind where we’re actually making ourselves less, because it’s the right thing to do.  

Or so we think.  

Our personal light, our Spirit becomes dimmed because we’re trying to make someone else’s shine a little brighter.  If it goes on for too long, we can even forget who we really are.

WHAT CODEPENDENCY REALLY MEANS

When we hear the word, “codependency,” most of us think of the classic scenario involving an alcoholic/addict and the person taking care of him.  In that sort of a relationship, the alcoholic may have the money, but he’s too screwed up to really take care of himself.  The codependent takes care of him – sees that the bills are paid on time, buys the groceries, cleans the house, defends him from criticism, but doesn’t have any personal funds.  

The result, of course, is that neither party is able to survive on their own.  They are mutually dependent on the other for survival and they may hate each other but they also need each other.

At its root, though, codependency is any relationship where we chronically subordinate our own needs and desires to someone else’s.  

That can actually take the form of a noble pursuit.  In a very real sense, good parents subordinate their own needs and desires to rearing their children until the children can fly on their own.  We can also see it in home healthcare situations, where one partner in the relationship is literally too ill to care for herself and the other partner becomes a full-time caretaker.

These are the, “good,” forms of codependency where we’re basically just doing what’s right and what’s loving.  But they can still destroy us over the long haul.

MAKING OURSELVES SMALLER

One of the hallmarks of codependency is shrinking ourselves while inflating someone else.

In the home healthcare situation that I just mentioned, the partner who is healthy may be devoting her entire life to taking care of the partner who is ill, yet insisting that, “it’s no big deal.”  She may sacrifice her social life, her hobbies, her time for herself to an endless round of cooking, cleaning, medications, and taking her partner to medical appointments.  She may have completely given up her own life in order to preserve his.

Because the other person’s light is so dimmed, we do everything we can to make it shine a little brighter.  We praise them, we prop them up, we take care of their every need and we never, ever, let them feel that they are, “less than,” because of their illness.

Over time, this creates an energy imbalance that leaves us feeling like invisible ghosts, like we never had the chance to live as our fullest, most authentic selves because we’ve disappeared into someone else’s needs.

The real tragedy of codependency isn’t just exhaustion – it’s the slow erosion of Self.

THE STAR REVERSED

In the Tarot, the exemplar of codependency is The Star reversed.  When it’s upright, The Star is a beacon of hope, inspiration, and healing.  It’s someone who is fully shining his light into the world.

When it’s reversed, it can point directly to codependent patterns such as:

• Outsourcing your self-worth to another person.

• Over-giving and self-sacrifice until your own cup is bone dry.

• Healing others while neglecting your own healing.

• Depending on someone’s approval to feel hopeful.

• Pretending everything’s fine just to keep the relationship intact.

The Star reversed doesn’t mean you’ve lost your light, though. It means you’ve been dimming it.

THE ANTIDOTE IS RECLAIMING YOUR OWN LIGHT

The medicine for The Star reversed is to consciously reclaim your own radiance:

• Affirm your intrinsic value through affirmations, creative expression, and celebrating small achievements.  That can be as easy as taking a few moments to journal every morning and write about what YOUR dreams are.

• Set boundaries and practice saying “no” without guilt. That can be as simple as saying, “No, I don’t watch that television show,” or, “I’d rather listen to MY music.”

• Shift your focus from “I’ll fix them” to “I’ll care for myself first.” You DO have a right to savor your morning coffee before you make their breakfast.

• Anchor hope internally by nurturing personal goals, spiritual practices, or creative outlets.  Do you love to paint or write or garden?  Insist on taking some time for that every week.  No excuses and no interruptions.  Even if it’s only an hour, that’s your sacred space.

• Practice radical honesty — with yourself and others.  If you hate what you’re doing, you’ve got a right to express that.  If you think you deserve some extra praise and kindness instead of being taken for granted, you’ve got a right to that, too.

• Cultivate interdependence, where two whole people choose connection rather than two halves clinging to each other.  Especially if there’s an imbalance in money, remind your partner frequently of all of the things that you do and how much he’d have to pay to have someone other than you do them.  

Each of these steps helps you pour back into your own cup — and when you shine, you inspire others to shine too.

THE PARADOX OF HEALING

The paradox of this type of codependency is that we usually take it on precisely because we ARE good, loving, kind people. If we see someone who needs help, we help them.  If our child is troubled, we’re there for them 200%.  If our partners are ill, of COURSE we’re going to move heaven and earth to take care of them.

But as it goes on . . . and on . . . and on . . . that good, loving person who is our core being begins to erode.  It isn’t that we become bad people or quit caring – it’s that we simply begin to disappear.  We become nothing but appendages to the needs of the people that we’re caring for.

The lesson of The Star is to let our light shine again.  That core of ourselves that we’re losing through the codependency is what was healing the other person to begin with.  When we lose it, we lose our ability to heal, not just them, but ourselves.

We have to let our lights shine.

“The Star,” a personal affirmation poster available on my etsy site

Will This Love Really Last? 10 Tarot Cards That Say “Yes”

Wondering if your love will really last? Tarot offers powerful clues. Here are the top 10 “yes” cards for romance — symbols of harmony, joy, and lasting connection.

While the Tarot doesn’t hand out guarantees, it does shine a light on the energies present in a relationship. And some cards are so clear, so affirming, that when they appear in a spread, they almost shout “yes!”

Why Tarot for Love Questions?

Love and relationships are the number one category of Tarot inquiries. People turn to the cards when they’re uncertain about where things stand, or when they’re weighing the long-term potential of a relationship.

Tarot won’t say, “This relationship is guaranteed to last forever.” But what it will do is highlight the dynamics at play — the emotional energy, the strengths, and the challenges that shape a partnership. And when certain cards appear, they point strongly toward harmony, mutual growth, and a lasting bond.

The Top 10 Tarot “Yes” Cards for Romance

1. The Lovers

This is the archetypal card of love, union, and attraction. It represents shared values and choices that strengthen the bond. When The Lovers appear, the message is clear: the relationship is rooted in deep connection.

2. Two of Cups

The quintessential partnership card. It reflects mutual attraction, balance, and reciprocity. The Two of Cups points to a genuine soul connection where both people bring equal energy to the table.

3. Ten of Cups

This is the “happily ever after” card. It symbolizes long-term happiness, emotional fulfillment, and family harmony. If you’re asking about lasting love, the Ten of Cups is a resounding yes.

4. Four of Wands

A card of celebration, milestones, and commitment. It often shows up around engagements, weddings, or moving in together. It’s a sign that the relationship is not only joyful but ready to move into the next chapter.

5. The Empress

Abundance, nurturing, and fertility flow through this card. The Empress speaks of love that supports growth — creative partnership, deep affection, and the potential to build something lasting together.

6. The Star

The Star brings healing, inspiration, and spiritual alignment. In love, it suggests that the relationship is not only joyful but also restorative, giving both partners hope and a sense of divine timing.

7. Six of Cups

Sweetness, comfort, and sincerity. This card speaks to simple pleasures and genuine affection. Whether it’s new love or a rekindled flame, the Six of Cups highlights warmth and emotional honesty.

8. The Sun

Few cards are as positive as The Sun. It represents joy, openness, and vitality. In romance, it signals a relationship where both people feel seen, supported, and energized.

9. Ace of Cups

The overflowing chalice of love. This card signals the beginning of a new relationship or the renewal of affection in an existing one. It’s pure emotional abundance and a beautiful green light for love.

10. Two of Wands

While not strictly a “romance card,” the Two of Wands points to planning a shared future. It suggests vision, growth, and expansion — a partnership where both people are willing to build together.


What These Cards Have in Common

Look at these ten cards together, and a pattern emerges:

  • Union & Commitment: Lovers, Two of Cups, Four of Wands, Ten of Cups.
  • Emotional Fulfillment: Ace of Cups, Six of Cups, Empress.
  • Joy & Inspiration: Sun, Star, Two of Wands.

The common theme? Relationships that thrive on balance, mutual support, and a shared vision for the future.

A Note of Realism

Of course, not every card in the Tarot is a “yes.” Sometimes the spread brings red flags — lessons that need to be learned before love can grow strong. That doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed, but it does mean awareness and patience are needed.

Stay tuned: in a future post, we’ll explore the Top 10 “No” Cards for Love Questions.

Conclusion

Deciding if a love will last is never easy. But the Tarot provides more than predictions — it offers symbolic guidance about the energy flowing through your relationship.

When the “yes” cards appear, they suggest love that’s harmonious, joyful, and ready to grow into the future. If you see these cards in your spread, take it as the Universe’s way of saying: love is worth the leap.

“Just the Tarot,” by Dan Adair – A kindle ebook available on Amazon

The Top Ten, “Yes,” Cards for Taking a New Job

Deciding whether to take a new job can feel overwhelming — but the Tarot offers surprising clarity. In this post, we explore the top 10 “yes” cards that signal opportunity, growth, and success in a new role.

There are two areas that cover 99% of what people ask in Tarot readings.  And they are – guess what? – love and money.

To be more specific about the latter, a lot of people are very worried about finances right now.  Younger people, older people, many of us are living just a paycheck away from destitution.

Most of the questions that revolve around finances can be broken down into two major areas:  Should I keep this job?  And, should I take that new job?

Unfortunately, that frequently breaks down further into, “I really, really hate my job but I’m afraid to quit it.”    And, “I’m really thinking about taking this new job, but how do I know it isn’t going to be just another hell hole?”

Obviously, the Tarot can’t make those decisions for us, but it can put up some pretty clear markers one way or the other.  In keeping with that, here are the top ten cards that indicate that, yes, we should take that new job.

The Top 10 Tarot “Yes” Cards for a New Job

1. The Magician

This card is all about skill and personal power. If you’re considering a new role, The Magician suggests you already have the tools and talent you need to succeed. It’s a reminder that you can create your own opportunities — and this one is ready for you to shape.

2. The Sun

Few cards are as positive as The Sun. It brings energy, confidence, and joy. In career terms, it signals that the new job will bring vitality and success — the kind of role where you can thrive, not just survive.

3. The World

The World represents completion and stepping into a bigger arena. It’s a sign that an old cycle is closing, and a new, more expansive chapter is waiting. Professionally, this card says, “Yes — you’re ready for the next level.”

4. Ace of Pentacles

The Ace of Pentacles is the clearest symbol of a new financial or career opportunity. Think of it as the seed of prosperity being handed to you. It’s a resounding “yes” that the new role holds real promise.

5. Three of Pentacles

This card highlights teamwork, recognition, and skill-sharing. If it shows up, it suggests the new job will give you the chance to collaborate with others and be appreciated for your contributions.

6. Six of Wands

The Six of Wands is about victory, advancement, and being noticed. In a career spread, it signals success in your new role and the recognition that comes with it.

7. Eight of Pentacles

This is the card of steady skill-building and mastery. If you’re entering a new field or learning new tasks, the Eight of Pentacles assures you that you’ll gain expertise and grow stronger through the work itself.

8. The Star

The Star brings inspiration, hope, and alignment with your higher purpose. In job matters, it suggests the new opportunity isn’t just a paycheck — it’s a chance to do something meaningful that feeds your spirit.

9. Two of Wands

The Two of Wands is about expansion and long-term vision. It tells you that the new job opens up possibilities for growth, planning, and future success. It’s less about a quick win and more about building something lasting.

10. Ten of Pentacles

This is the card of stability, prosperity, and legacy. If it appears, it suggests the new role has the potential to provide long-term security, financial reward, and a sense of belonging within a larger structure.

What These Cards Have in Common

Looking at these ten cards together, a pattern emerges:

Material success & stability: Ace, Eight, Ten, and Three of Pentacles.

Recognition & growth: The Magician, The World, and Six of Wands.

Fulfillment & inspiration: The Sun, The Star, and Two of Wands.

When these cards appear in your spread, they point to opportunity, alignment, and security — the kind of energies that make a new job worth considering.

A Note of Balance

Of course, not every card says “yes.” It’s always sweet when we get clear yes and no cards in a reading, but sometimes they can be frustratingly ambiguous.

When that happens,  the Tarot suggests waiting, rethinking, or being cautious about what’s really on offer. The future may reveal that the opportunity isn’t as golden as it first appears or maybe it will be.  Things are still developing.

In a future post, we’ll explore the Top 10 “No” Cards for a New Job — the ones that raise red flags and encourage you to pause before leaping.

Conclusion

Deciding whether to take a new job is never easy. It’s a choice that can ripple out through every part of your life. While Tarot can’t choose for you, it can help reveal whether the energies surrounding a new opportunity are supportive, promising, and aligned with your bigger goals.

So the next time you’re staring at an offer letter, pull out your deck. If the “yes” cards show up, it may just be the Universe’s way of saying: step forward with confidence.

If you’d like a downloadable PDF copy of the Top Ten Job Cards, click here.  When the list pops up, go to your browser menu and click on, “print file.”

“Just the Tarot,” a kindle ebook by Dan Adair available on Amazon

Recovery, Shame, and The World Card

In therapy or recovery but still haunted by your past? This post explores how The World card can help transform shame and regret into growth. By embracing even painful histories, we can find “closure without a bow” — turning painful memories into guides instead of burdens.

Are you in recovery from alcoholism or addiction but still feel really deep shame about your past?

Are you in therapy but just can’t seem to shake off the depression and anxiety that springs from old beliefs and the ghosts of trauma?

Believe me – you’re not alone.  Many of us can stay sober or work our asses off in counseling, but still feel like we’re going through it with a cinder block chained around our necks.  Guilt, shame, and memories of what we were can weigh us down to a point where we’re almost paralyzed.

The World card from the Tarot can offer a powerful lens for looking at this struggle and finding a way forward.

A SYMBOL OF COMPLETION

In its traditional meaning, The World card celebrates the completion of one cycle and moving onto the next one.  It’s the, “and they lived happily ever after,” card for, “normal,” people

For instance, a person might leave their job after many successful years and move on to another one that presents new challenges.

Or perhaps a parent has spent 18 years raising a child and when the kid goes off to college, the parent finally has time for her own dreams.

Or maybe a writer has spent 2 years putting a book together, it’s finally been published, and now they’re moving on to a new project.

The common theme there is that all of these people can look back and honestly say, “Well done.”

But what happens when we look back at our past and all we can say is, “Oh, christ, what a freaking mess.”

WHEN SATISFACTION ISN’T POSSIBLE

For many of us, the past doesn’t exactly sparkle with bright and cheery accomplishments.  Instead, it can feel like an extended disaster zone.

Maybe we worked at the same job for years and got fired because of poor performance.

Perhaps we wasted many years in a toxic, codependent relationship.

Or we might have been so drunk or drugged up that we destroyed everything and everyone we touched.

Trying to get into a sustained recovery can seem almost impossible under the weight of regret.  The question is:  How do we process all of this and move on to a new life?

WHAT DOES AA SAY ABOUT IT?

When I was trying to help a relative get into recovery, I sat through literally hundreds of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with her.

Let me hasten to say, I’m not trying to push an AA agenda or wave a Big Book in your face.  It works for some people, it doesn’t work for others, and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

What really struck me in those meetings, though, was that some of their members had figured out a way to do this.  They’d sit there and calmly tell the most horrific stories imaginable about their drinking careers and then talk about how happy they were now.

The phrase that was always repeated was, “We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.”  There are two powerful statements in that:

1 – Even if we totally screwed up, we can CHOOSE not to regret it.

2 – We don’t slam the door on it or pretend that it never happened.

It’s not about denying the past.  It’s about reclaiming it.

FACING THE PAST WITH COURAGE

Facing what we’d rather forget requires a lot of courage, and we need to give ourselves credit for that struggle.  It can also mean that we can mine a few diamonds out of the sewage and become better human beings.

The heartbreak of being totally broken can teach us greater compassion for those who are still struggling.

The mistakes that we made can teach us humility.  It’s mighty hard to look down on someone else when you’re lying in a gutter.

The chaos that we endured can teach us resilience and we can realize how strong we truly are to have survived it.

True courage isn’t erasing our story but owning it without shame.

LESSONS FROM NOT SHUTTING THE DOOR

When we keep our past in view – without wallowing in it – we transform it into guidance.  Painful memories can evolve into teachers, showing us what to avoid and what truly matters.

Even more, our honesty can become a gift.  By sharing our experiences, we offer others a road map through their own dark terrain.

We can look at a friend, a lover, or a neighbor and honestly say, “Oh, man, I know what you’re going through.”  Because we do.

The World Affirmation Poster available on my etsy site

CLOSURE WITHOUT TAKING A BOW

I guess that there are, “normal,” people who live more or less all of the time in Happy Land.  They move from one wonderful accomplishment to the next and life comes at them with ease and grace.  That’s what The World card is all about.

For the rest of us, closure means accepting the whole mess that we may have made of things and integrating it, rather than forgetting it.  We accept the fact that we’ve had a lot heavier karma to deal with than most people.  

And we remind ourselves that wholeness isn’t about perfection.  It’s about embracing all that we are as human beings – our triumphs, our failures, and the courage it takes to live through them.