The Happiness Compass: What If Joy Is Trying to Tell You Something?

Exploring the idea that happiness is a compass that points us in the right direction.

We’ve all heard the old saying from the 1960s:

“If it feels good, do it.”

Unfortunately, our culture often teaches the exact opposite.

Work a job you hate because it’s practical.

Stay in a relationship that’s gone stale because it’s your duty.

Ignore your dreams because they’re unrealistic.

Somewhere along the way, many of us begin wearing our unhappiness like a badge of honor, as though misery proves we’re responsible adults.

But what if we’ve misunderstood happiness?

What if it isn’t a luxury?

What if it’s a compass?

Happiness Isn’t Random

One of the central ideas in my book, Tarot and the Art of Alignment, is that happiness isn’t merely an emotion that comes and goes.

It’s directional.

It points.

When we’re moving toward the life we’re meant to live, something inside us quietly says:

“Yes…this is the way.”

Likewise, when we drift away from our authentic nature, life begins to feel heavy, flat, and strangely empty.

Our emotions aren’t simply fluctuations. They’re messages that point us in the right direction.

The Simplest Question

Perhaps the most radical question we can ask ourselves isn’t:

“How much money am I making?”

Or…

“What will other people think?”

It’s simply this:

Am I happy here?

If the honest answer is no, don’t treat it as a failure. Treat it as information.

Your inner compass is trying to get your attention.

Isn’t That Just Hedonism?

Whenever people talk about following happiness, someone inevitably objects:

“That sounds selfish.”

Or…

“Life isn’t supposed to be fun all the time.”

I agree. This isn’t about chasing pleasure.

There’s a profound difference between pleasure and fulfillment.

Pleasure asks:

“What feels good right now?”

Fulfillment asks:

“What kind of joy helps me become more fully myself?”

Real happiness isn’t the endless pursuit of dopamine. It’s the quiet satisfaction that comes from living in harmony with your deepest nature.

Happiness Is a Side Effect of Truth

One of the biggest misconceptions in our culture is that happiness comes from accumulating enough “stuff.”

More money.

A bigger house.

A nicer car.

More followers.

Those things may be enjoyable. But they’re not necessarily meaningful.

Real happiness comes from something much deeper.

It appears when we’re living with integrity.

When our actions reflect who we really are.

When we’re doing the work we came here to do—even if that work is difficult.

Happiness isn’t the goal.

It’s the glow that appears when we’re moving in the right direction.

Entering the Flow

Psychologists call it flow.

The Taoists simply speak of being in harmony with the Tao.

Athletes call it being in the zone.

Whatever name we give it, most of us have experienced those rare moments when intention and action become one.  When life seems to go perfectly.

Time disappears.

Energy rises.

Life feels strangely enchanted.

Synchronicities seem to increase.

Everything flows naturally.

To me, this is the Happiness Compass operating at full strength. The needle of the compass isn’t spinning in circles anymore – it’s pointing solidly in one direction.

Why We Lose Our Way

The tragedy is that most of us weren’t taught to trust this inner guidance.

We were taught to obey.

To fit in. To be practical. To put duty ahead of authenticity.

Eventually the compass is still there…

But it’s buried beneath expectations, obligations, financial worries, and the opinions of other people.

Eventually, we may not even remember what genuine happiness feels like, because we’ve forgotten who we truly are.

How the Tarot Can Help

This is one of the reasons I love working with the Tarot.

The cards don’t tell us who we’re supposed to become. They remind us who we already are. They gently reveal where we’ve ignored our intuition, overridden our happiness, or wandered away from our authentic path.

The cards are about helping us realign with ourselves and answer that basic question:  Am I happy? If the answer is no, they tell us why.

Perhaps happiness isn’t something we have to chase.  Perhaps it’s simply something that we need to remember.

Adapted from Chapter Six of my new book, Tarot and the Art of Alignment: Using the Cards to Remember Who You Are, which explores how the Tarot can become a practical compass for discovering your authentic path and living with greater joy, purpose, and synchronicity.



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The Rules of Synchronicity, Having Sex with Pizzas, and Becoming More Flow-ish

Basic rules for increasing synchronicity in your life and getting in the Flow.

We’re all familiar with that state of being that we call, “being in the Zone,” or, “being in the Flow.” Both artists and athletes talk about the special state of consciousness where their work becomes completely focussed, everything they want to accomplish unfolds effortlessly and the perception of time seems to be suspended. When we’re in the Flow, life becomes a magical mystery tour and feels like a perfect fit instead of a struggle.

There are dozens of books out there on the subject of the Flow, but my favorite is Charlene Belitz groundbreaking book The Power of Flow. She noted that when we’re in the Flow state, we have a marked increase in synchronistic events and she thought, “Hmmmm . . . if synchronicity goes along with the Flow state like cheese dip goes with Doritos . . . then that means that when one occurs, the other occurs, too. So . . . if we can increase synchronicity, maybe we can increase being in the Flow.”

And it works. I tried it. When I trigger extra synchronicity in my life, then my life begins to hum along much more smoothly and I feel happier, more content, and easier in my spirit. I may not be in the Flow constantly, but I’m sure as hell a lot more Flow-ish and that feels pretty good.

When we boil down synchronicity and then hang it on the line to dry, it basically just means that the universe is having a conversation with us. Carl Jung defined it as, “a meaningful convergence of interior and exterior events,” which is really just a formal way of saying that the universe is noticing what we’re thinking and interacting with our thoughts.

The classic example is when we’re sitting there thinking about our Great Aunt Petunia Lilac Huckleberry, whom we haven’t spoken to in 25 years, the phone rings and – Shazam! – it’s Aunt Petunia and she has something really important to tell us. Now, we can dissect that and analyze it and pick it apart a million ways to Sunday, but there are really only three things we need to focus on here: (1) We thought of Aunt Petunia; (2) Aunt Petunia called us; and (3) it was meaningful.

That sort of thing happens to all of us on what seems to be a completely random basis. Since it’s random – in other words, we’re not consciously causing it to happen – we just call it a coincidence. We shrug our shoulders and say, “Well, that was damned weird,” and just forget about it.

On the other hand, when we recognize that it’s really a thing – that we can make things like that happen – then it becomes a force in our lives. We start experiencing synchronicity a lot more because we’re asking for it to happen. And as we experience more synchronicity, then we find ourselves more and more in the Flow and life becomes a LOT easier.

There are some simple rules involved with causing more synchronicity to appear in our lives. I’ve stumbled across some of them as I’ve explored the subject and want to share them in a few ongoing posts, so I’ll start with this one.

SYNCHRONICITY RULE NUMBER ONE: START THE CONVERSATION

The first rule is to realize that there is something out there talking with us, having meaningful conversations, and giving us answers when we need them. BUT . . . whatever it is, it doesn’t usually start the conversation. We need to reach out to whatever it is first, and then it replies to us.

Human beings have realized that there was something out there talking with us for most of our existence and we’ve tried to fill in the blanks about who or what it is. Some people perceive the something out there as angels and spirit guides. Some people perceive it as Fairies. Some people see it as Jesus answering their prayers. Some people think of it in impersonal terms, like the Tao.

It doesn’t matter! We don’t have to figure out exactly what it is that’s talking back to us in order to have the conversation. If you feel more comfortable calling it Jesus, that’s fine. If you prefer Spirit Guides, that’s fine, too. If you just want to call it, “Hey, you,” then go for it. The main thing is to just realize that it’s there, it has answers for you, and it’s waiting for you to ask for them.

So, suppose you have a new boyfriend and he seems to be just perfect. He’s charming, good looking, he’s well read, fun to be with, has lots of money to throw around, and you think he may be The One. BUT . . . as the relationship develops you discover that the only way that he can have sex is to slather himself in tomato paste and cover his body with slices of pepperoni. Unless he’s dressed up as a pizza, he’s completely impotent in bed and you’re highly conflicted about this because you don’t much care for pizza and you certainly don’t want to eat it every night. It’s a conundrum and you need some guidance about your choices in the matter.

So what do you do? You just stop and say, “Hey, you, (or Jesus or Fairies or Tao) what should I do about this? I think I love the guy, but shtupping Italian food just really doesn’t turn me on.” And then you take a walk or go to work or throw all of your tomato covered bed sheets in the washer and wait for an answer.

And the answer will come. It may be something as dramatic as the local Round Table Pizza burning to the ground or it may be as subtle as finding a can of tomato paste that’s been run over by a truck, but the answer will come. Once we ask the question, the universe will always find a way to let us know what we need to do.

Which leads us to Rule Number One (a):

DON’T BE AN ASKHOLE

Have you ever had a friend who was constantly asking for your advice but never took it? They come to you with one problem after another, ask what they should do, and then manufacture endless reasons for why they can’t possibly do what you suggested.

They’re basically being askholes. They’re not really interested in solutions, they’re just interested in the drama of their problems. We may occasionally lose our tempers and blow up at those people but more often we just fade away. We start avoiding them as much as we can and, if they corner us, we just nod and say, “Uh, huh. Golly. How ‘bout that? Gee whiz.”

We’ve learned that they’re never going to follow our advice and so we stop giving it. The Universe (or Jesus or Fairies or the Tao or Hey You) is very much like that. If we ask for help with something, it will always respond with an answer. But . . . if we continually ignore the advice, then Hey You will start avoiding us and ignoring our questions because it knows we don’t really want an answer.

So, in the example above, the Universe might suggest that you leave the guy, or it might suggest that you sprinkle him with Parmesan cheese before you have sex, or it might suggest that you ask him to dress up like a grilled cheese sandwich instead of a pizza and see how THAT goes. Whatever form the advice comes in, we need to act on it. If we don’t, the advice will just stop coming. If we do, then the advice will increase, synchronicity will increase, and we’ll find ourselves more and more in the Flow.

I’ll be offering some more insights on how to increase synchronicity in the next few posts. In the meantime, ask and ye shall receive. Askhole and ye shall not.

Remember that my ebook, Just the Tarot, is still available on Amazon for less than the price of a single slice of pizza and MUCH less than a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup. You should buy a copy.